Susannah Remembers
by Voltaire63
Summary: This story continues after Oh! Susannah and Detective Murdoch and The Horse Race. Daughter Susie recalls her life growing up with the Murdochs.
1. Chapter 1

Susannah Remembers

I first met my father when I was 4 years old. He rescued me and I fell in love with him right away. After witnessing my birth parents murder right before my eyes I was then kidnapped by a baby/child selling ring. William came alone and found me. He almost died saving me and I worried about him every day of our lives after that. He promised he would be home to tuck me in every night, and he always tried to keep that promise.

I met my mother when William was brought to her. She took me aside, dried my tears, and said her name was Julia and that she was a doctor who would help William. She knew before William did that they would adopt me. Julia was always my role model and I love her dearly, but I will always be Daddy's girl.

My name is Susannah Jane Murdoch, though everyone has always called me Susie, except William. He always called me Susannah, always. It was his sister's name too. She had died before I was born. And I wouldn't allow anyone else to call me Susannah. It was our secret, at least to my child's mind it was a secret. My parents had introduced themselves to me as William and Julia and that's what I usually called them, except when I was upset. Then it was Mommy and Daddy. William was the kindest, smartest, handsomest, and best man I have ever known and I miss him terribly. Julia misses him too. We often talk about him.

William died in the line of duty, as we all expected he would. He was a copper almost all his life, though not just a policeman but a brilliant detective. Even the mayors of Toronto would personally call on William for important cases. Of course eventually he was promoted to inspector in spite of his Catholicism, but he never stopped solving cases. It was to be his final act to push a constable to safety and get shot in the chest instead. He didn't die right away and Julia and I got to be with him at the end. By then his dark hair had greyed around the edges but he was still handsome. We sat at his bedside each holding one of his hands. He opened his beautiful brown eyes and looked at me, smiling, his voice no more than a whisper. "Susannah, I love you more than I can ever say. Now you are a beautiful, successful woman, but you will always be my little girl." He turned his head slightly toward Julia. "Julia, you are the light of my life. There has been no other. Take care of each other. I'm a happy man for having loved you both." And then he was gone. If only Uncle George were here to say again, "He's not dead Sweetie. See. He's breathing." But he was not breathing. Not this time. We sat there, Julia and I, holding his hands and each other, tears quietly rolling down our cheeks.

His funeral was huge. It was held in Toronto's largest Catholic cathedral. Thomas Brackenreid gave the most moving eulogy. Neither Julia, nor I wore black. William would have hated us in all black.

After Daddy died I hurt, physically and mentally. My fiancé tried to comfort me but even the dashing John Brackenreid couldn't reach me in the depths of my sorrow. Julia and I locked ourselves in the house and saw no one for months. I often sat at the piano, playing sad music. William had taught me to play piano. My lessons began when I was only four, and I loved them. I had to sit in his lap to reach the keyboard. He would laugh and smile while we played together. He had known how to play piano since his school days and was very good. One look at sheet music and he had it memorized. But it wasn't until he and Julia married that he took it up again. Now Julia would sit in the dark and listen to me play for hours. We were a morose lot and fed on each other's sorrow.

Finally Uncle George and Aunt Emily could stand it no more and forced their way into our house and back into our lives. Uncle George said that William wouldn't want us to be sad all the time, that we needed to move on with life. It was the most difficult thing either of us had ever done, but we tried. Life without William just didn't seem to be complete. I shall ache for him till my dying day, but I knew, as did Julia, that we couldn't stay locked away for ever. So we opened the house up. John had waited patiently for me to grieve and was ready to help me live again. Aunt Ruby and Uncle James also helped both me and Julia as did John's parents, Margaret and Thomas.

So now as I wait for my wedding date to come and to take over Julia's medical practice ( Yes, I followed in her footsteps and became a doctor and John became a copper, like his father and William) I am writing about Daddy. It makes me feel closer to him to remember our time as a family.

So here I go, recalling some of the extraordinary times we had together. But Daddy, I wish you hadn't left us so soon.


	2. Chapter 2 Peg and Me

Susannah Remembers

Chapter 2 Peg and Me

Usually William and Julia explained things to me as I got older; things a child might not understand. For instance they eventually told me about Darcy and the murder and the trial. But for some reason when I would sit on the floor by the fire and play with the box of dominoes they would both smile or sometimes just start to laugh out loud. That's one they never explained.

William and Julia both worked very hard at their jobs, so they couldn't be home with me during the day. I think William would have been happy to take me to the station house every day if he could have. So they had to hire a nanny. Parents sometimes interview dozens before they find the right match, but William and Julia hired the first and only applicant, Penny Renton, George Crabtree's cousin. I loved Penny. Days with her made missing William and Julia easier.

I think the time I spent with William and Peggy were my favorite times. Peggy was William's horse, Peggy's Cove, but he let me call her my pony. He once won a horse race with her. When I was very little I rode in the saddle with William, but it wasn't long before I wanted to ride on my own. So he gave me horseback riding lessons and taught me to ride a bicycle both when I was about ten. Of course Julia swore I would kill myself. That brought about one of their famous arguments.

"William, for god's sake she's a girl. Let her act like a girl."

"You ride a bicycle, dear," he argued back.

"I'm not talking about the bicycle. I'm referring to the damn horse. Even you fall off occasionally. You'll both break your necks."

"You know I wouldn't let her do anything dangerous."

"Every time the two of you get on that horse it's dangerous."

"Susannah has always loved Peg. I don't see why I can't teach her to ride, safely," he practically pouted.

"There is no 'safely' with horses. She has you so wrapped around her little finger that you'd let her catch bullets with her teeth if she wanted to." Julia was getting exasperated, but William couldn't help let a little smile play about his lips.

"So what do you want to do? Wrap her in cotton wool and put her in a cabinet?"

This went on for quite a while as I sat on the other side of their door listening. But of course, William won in the end. He almost always did when it concerned me. I was delighted.

Looking back it seems where I was concerned, William and Julia had reversed roles. It is Julia who is the iconoclast, always pushing beyond conformities and William who was the reserved, proper man. But it was Julia who always worried about my safety and femininity, and William who would let me do anything I dared.

We went to the cobbler where William bought me a pair of riding boots, and then to the dressmaker where I was fitted for a split skirt, because there was no way I was going to ride sidesaddle. I was determined to ride astride just like my Daddy. But William did put his foot down when I tried to talk him into letting me get a pair of trousers.

Ever since a barn fire in the city had destroyed the stable where William boarded Peg, he had taken James Pendrick up on the offer to keep her at his country place. Uncle James and William eventually became great friends after a somewhat shaky past between them. And Julia's sister, Aunt Ruby finally married James after a long and stormy courtship. William and I would bicycle out to Uncle James's once or twice a week when weather and William's schedule allowed.

"Of course, you know you're going to have to learn how to fall off, probably before you can ride, don't you?" William asked me at our first lesson.

"The main things when you fall are to get your feet out of the stirrups, relax your body, and roll away from the horse when you hit the ground. Also, don't tell Julia," he added with a laugh.

So we practiced with Peg standing still and William right beside me in case I needed help. Our lessons were the most fun I ever had. At first William had Peg on a longe line as he led her in a large circle while I sat on her bareback.

"If you can ride bareback, using a saddle is a piece of cake," he said. "It's all in the legs. Your hands should be still and subtle in their commands. You can do most anything with just your legs."

I was an apt pupil and took to riding just like William had. Because I was young and fearless I tried to do any and everything that William asked of me. I could see how happy he was too at our lesson times. It wasn't long before he let me ride alone. We walked, trotted, and finally cantered. I had always liked going fast when riding with William, but doing it on my own was unbelievable.

From time to time William borrowed a horse from Uncle James so we could ride together. And of course I always wanted to race. But this time the borrowed horse went one way and William went the other. After all, every horse wasn't as perfect as Peg. And as well as he knew how to fall he still landed badly. Uncle James had been watching us and he ran over to Daddy who was lying on his right arm on the ground. I hopped off Peg and ran to him too. As he sat up he cried out. It was quite evident his arm was broken.

We got him to his feet and walked him to the house where Uncle James said, "I'll splint this for you but we had better let Julia set it." William just nodded.

Uncle James took us home in a carriage. Julia was standing at the door when we came in.

" William! What have you done now?"

He just looked at her abashed as I said, "Daddy had a bad fall."

"So I see. Sit down William and let me look at this." After removing his shirt she then proceeded to set his arm as he cried aloud in pain. She didn't look very sympathetically at him until she saw how pale he looked.

"Oh, William. It's like I have two children to deal with. If you're going to play with Susie you're going to have to be more careful. Your job is dangerous enough without me worrying about you in your leisure time too. And you," she directed her next tirade at me. "You should watch out for him. He's not a kid any more, you know. His bones break more easily than yours."

Then we all realized what she had said and began to laugh. She hugged us both and then got some ice for Williams's arm.

"Just be careful, both of you."

I knew they had made up when we went to bed that night and I heard the key lock their bedroom door.


	3. Chapter 3 Crime Scene

Susannah Remembers  
Chapter 3 Crime Scene

I never really liked to play with dolls. I think this pleased William and Julia who had had that unfortunate experience with James Gillies and the talking dolls. My favorite toys were my stuffed bear, Bear, which I cannot remember ever being without and my white rabbit that William gave me. Our favorite book that William and I read together was ALICE IN WONDERLAND, so William got me a white rabbit. I always had one or sometimes both stuffed animals with me.

Although I didn't like dolls I loved my dollhouse. It didn't start out as a dollhouse though. The first time William was left alone all day with me he was desperate to keep me amused. He took me into his office where he was always building something and there was a three dimensional crime scene of a house that he had built. So he pretended it was a dollhouse, helping me make little people figures out of paper and wire. Over the next couple of years William continued to improve upon it until it was quite an elaborate actual dollhouse. The best part of playing with it was that I got to go into his office, which was full of wonders to look at. He never really minded if I touched things as long as they weren't dangerous.

William was always getting into trouble with Julia by letting me do things she didn't think were appropriate or safe. I think the maddest she ever got was when I was about thirteen. I had gone by myself after school to the station house to have tea with William because he had been so busy all week I had hardly seen him.

As I entered his office he looked up and grinned. "What are you doing here, Sweetie? Is anything wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong. I've just missed seeing you and thought we could go out for tea if you have some time."

"I'm sorry I've been so busy. Of course we can have tea." He rose from his desk and came and gave me a big hug. He grabbed his hat and took my arm. As we passed his desk he told George, "Susannah and I are going to the Bay Cafe for a bit. I won't be gone long."

"You two have a nice time, then," George smiled.

We had no sooner sat down when Uncle George burst in, out of breath. "Sir, there's been another murder, just now, this time in broad daylight."

William hesitated for a minute. He didn't want to leave me alone but he knew he had to hurry to the crime scene.  
"Come with me Susannah, but you must do everything I tell you with no arguments. Okay?"

"Okay, Daddy."

We got into a carriage with Uncle George, who told William exactly what we were headed for and what was already known. There had been a series of murders over the past few weeks and this one seemed to fit the pattern except for the time it was committed. As we drew up to the crime scene William and George got out. But before he left me William leaned in and said, "Stay in here and do not get out for any reason. Alright?"

"Yes, Daddy."

Then George and William ran into the house. I could hear shouting . I saw a man running from the front door. A few seconds later William came chasing after him with George also in pursuit. The runner's trajectory took him right past the carriage I was in. So I opened the carriage door just as he passed me by stopping him immediately as he struck the door and fell in a heap. William was there in less than a second. He and George pulled the man to his feet as several more constables arrived to take custody. William just stood there staring at me. I could almost see his brain arguing with itself. Was he ever going to speak? So I spoke.

"Daddy, I didn't get out of the carriage."

He sighed. "I know. I should never have brought you along. Stay there until I'm finished." Then he walked slowly away.

When he finally returned he looked exhausted. Dealing with murder after murder took its toll on him. "Let's go home. Your mother will be worried."

When Julia heard the story of the day's events she went scarily quiet. She didn't speak to either of us the rest of the evening and retired early. William finally steeled himself and went upstairs to face her. I left my door ajar and tried to hear them.

"William, I'm at a loss for words. Or maybe not. How could you take her to an active crime scene?"

"Julia, she never left the carriage. And I know I shouldn't have taken her. But I had no other choice. There was no place else to leave her. Let's not always be arguing about Susannah, please. She's growing up and has a mind of her own. And if anything, she's just like you. I respond to her just as I do to you. You both have me wrapped around your little fingers."

I could tell she had begun to smile at him by the sound of her voice. "You're right. She'll do what she she'll do and both of us be damned."

Then there was a long silence. William and Julia almost never went to bed angry.

The next morning Julia announced that she thought I should come to her clinic after school from time to time. At first this sounded boring to me but after a few visits my interests definitely began to veer toward medicine. I was fascinated with everything medical, but still liked spending time at the station house with William too. I could have gone either way with my career choice, but believe it or not it was easier for me as a woman to go to medical school than to get into law enforcement at the time. So when the the time came I went the University of Toronto Medical School.


	4. Chapter 4 Beach

Susannah Remembers

Chapter 4 Beach

Mother was the doctor, but one day when she was out William and I were home alone. Penny was off and Linney the maid was out shopping. He was in his office working on some project or case and I was playing in the backyard. I was about 5.

As I reached to pick a flower a hornet stung my hand. I must have screamed bloody murder because William came bounding out of the house, running to me. "What happened Sweetie?" he asked.

I held up my swollen hand while sobbing. He grabbed me into his arms and carried me into the house, setting me on the edge of the kitchen table. He hurried to his office and back in a couple of seconds. He had a tweezers and magnifying glass with him. In no time he had removed the stinger. He then washed my hand, put some alcohol on it, and then a bandage which he tied with a cute bow. He picked me up and carried me to my room where he sat in the bedside chair, rocking and holding me. I snuggled into his chest until I stopped crying. I remember him talking to me in a soothing voice but I don't remember the words. I always felt so safe in his arms.

When I was a little older I would wonder to myself why William and Julia had never adopted more children. Once I overheard them talking about it.

"William, would you like to adopt another child, maybe an infant boy?"

"I've thought about it from time to time. But to tell you the truth, I'm satisfied with my two girls. Not every man has an undying need for a son. But if you want to adopt again, you know I'm with you 100 per cent."

"I just thought you had always wanted a son. I'm happy with our family like it is as well. Susie is the perfect child."

"Don't ever tell her that," he laughed. "There'll be no living with her." Then they both laughed and embraced.

Life wasn't always adventures. Sometimes it was just fun. I remember one hot summer when I was eight and we went to the beach. It wasn't one of the public ones with scores of people. This was a private beach that Uncle James owned, or rented, or leased, or stole... With James Pendrick you never really knew. The only people there that day were us, Penny and her friend Clarence, Uncle George and Aunt Emily (who were married by now), James and Aunt Ruby, Thomas, Margaret, and their two sons, Bobby and John. I always had fun with the Brackenreid boys. They were like big brothers to me and one day John would be even more to me.

It would be a few years before the automobile became more prevalent than the horse and carriage, although Uncle James always had some kind of automated vehicles around. And William always delighted in driving them and tinkering with their motors. And on this day Uncle James had us all delivered to the beach in several of his automobiles, one of which William happily drove.

We had all the amenities-umbrellas, cabanas, lounge chairs, towels galore, picnic baskets. Everyone changed into their bathing suits and headed for the shore.

Julia had taught me to swim as she was the best swimmer of everyone there. William was a good swimmer but not nearly as strong as Julia. I think it amused him that she was so much better than him at a physical activity. She had even saved his life once when he had been knocked unconscious and fallen into the lake. She had kicked off her shoes and removed her skirt, diving into the water without a second thought, swimming to him, pulling him up when he'd gone under, and swimming quickly back with her arm around him.

We all went into the water laughing and yelling. Julia and William swam way out away from the rest of us and we didn't see them again for quite some time. I played with Bobby and John. They were never mean to me and always tried to include me in their games. We swam for a while then we sat on the beach and began to build a sand castle. At last William and Julia returned with blissful smiles on their faces-and everyone noticed.

When William saw us children playing in the sand, he couldn't help himself and had to join us, as did Uncle James. Needless to say, our sand castle was a glorious masterpiece. And William and James didn't take over either. We kids added as much to the edifice as the grown-ups did. But it didn't hurt that an architect/inventor and an inventor/scientist were there to help with the design.

It was great fun. When we finished William grabbed me into his arms and ran into the water with me, wading out with me on his shoulders. Then he dumped me into the water and we swam back, racing. He always let me win.

We had brought enough food for a feast. When we had finished eating everyone just seemed to relax and chat. This had been a wonderful day with all of our best friends. By the time we were to go home I had fallen asleep in Julia's lap. I didn't wake up until Julia and William were tucking me in. I remember that day being one of the most fun of my childhood.


	5. Chapter 5 The Ball

Susannah Remembers

Chapter 5 The Ball

Here I sit fingering William's pocket watch. Julia wanted me to have it. He carried this watch most of his adult life and Julia was fine with that. You see, William's fiancée, Liza, gave it to him on his 28th birthday. When I was five Julia gave William a locket for his watch fob which had a picture of her and me. He would never let the pictures be updated, so I was always five there. I loved sitting on his knee and taking his watch out of his pocket so I could put it up to my ear to hear it tick. Then I would open the rectangular locket and look at the pictures. I'm holding it up to my ear even now as I sit here. It's like hearing his heart beat still.

My parents were very attractive people. And when they got dressed up for a ball or party no one could hold a candle to them. William in white tie and tails and Julia in a beautiful ball gown always excited me as a child, even though I knew I would be left at home. One time when I was about six they came down to the parlor together, beaming. To me it was like a fairy tale with the Princess and Prince Charming. Julia went to the phonograph and turned it on. Then they began to dance together. William's dancing skills had gradually improved over the years. I just sat on the sofa watching and grinning. It was so beautiful. William paused for a moment, lifted me into his arms and the three of us danced together until it was time for them to go. They both tucked me in. It was one of many nights that Penny stayed all night.

My favorite ball however was the first one I got to attend. It was the annual Policemen's Ball, New Year's Eve when I was 17 years old. Julia took me shopping for my first ball gown. When I modeled the one we had chosen for William I could see tears in his eyes. I don't think he liked the idea of me growing up though.

I had heard that John Brackenreid, who was home from school for the holidays, as well as his brother Bobby (who now wanted to be called Robert)were going to be at the ball as well. I had always had a crush on John. Not wanting me to grow up unprepared like they had, my parents had sent me to cotillion so I would know how to dance. I was very excited and counted down the days to the party. For once Christmas Day was not the climax of the holiday season. There was still a week until the ball. William and Julia had given me a beautiful pearl necklace and earrings for Christmas, which would look spectacular with my new gown. Every night it seemed I would grab William's hand and lead him to the parlor, turn on the phonograph, and make him dance with me. He was really a good sport about it, because dancing, except with Julia, wasn't his favorite activity. But I think he didn't mind so much dancing with his daughter either.

Finally it was New Year's Eve day. I was so excited I couldn't sit still. I began to get ready very early. Julia laughed and got me to slow down. "We'll get ready together," she said. "That way we'll both be on time."

William raised his eyebrows. "Both on time? We shall see," he laughed.

Of course he was right. He sat in the parlor, reading the paper, all dressed and ready to go long before we appeared. When we came down the stairs and he saw us the newspaper fell from his hands to the floor. He rose and came to us, taking each of us in one of his hands. "I will be the envy of every man there tonight, escorting the two most beautiful women in the world." His smile was huge and his eyes twinkled.

"Oh, Daddy," was all I could think to say.

On the carriage ride to the ballroom, I began to have cold feet. What if no one asked me to dance? What if John Brackenreid ignored me? He was so much older and more worldly than I. What if I said the wrong things? My face must have reflected my concerns because William leaned toward me, took my hand and said, "Sweetie, you are so beautiful. You'll be the belle of the ball. I guarantee it." Then he kissed my cheek.

I was in awe when we entered the ballroom. It was so bright, flowers and candles everywhere. Christmas decorations were hung and a lovely string orchestra was playing. William had me on one arm and Julia on the other. His grin was from ear to ear. Thomas and Margaret were the first people we encountered. "Blimey, Murdoch. You hit the jackpot tonight, me ol' mucker. Two beautiful women."

"Good evening sir. Yes I've done quite well for myself, haven't I?"

And just then John stepped out from behind his father. I really think he had been waiting for us to arrive.

"Susannah," he began, though he almost never called me anything but Susie,"May I have the pleasure of this dance?"

William grinned as he turned my arm over to John. I looked back at him hesitantly, but he just smiled and nodded. Then I was swept off my feet as John spun me around the dance floor effortlessly. The evening was almost a blur. Mostly I danced with John, but Robert asked me as well. And of course I danced with William. "Are you having a good time, Sweetie?" he asked as we toured the floor.

"Oh, William! It's perfect."

Later John and I were dancing near the table where William and Julia sat. Their heads were resting on each other's as they leaned in together.

"I'm afraid our little girl has grown up," observed Julia.

"Yes," William replied sadly.

Finally we got to sit down and rest a bit and I got to watch William and Julia. He held her very close and she rested her head on his shoulder. Who could not have noticed how in love they were? At the stroke of midnight I got my first kiss from a boy, or should I say young man. I shall never forget that kiss no matter how many times John kisses me. I know William saw us, but he said nothing.

And then John took my hand and walked up to my parents. "Mr. Murdoch, may I have the honor of seeing Susannah home?"

William tried to look stern but I could see the smile playing about his lips. "Well young man," he began,"that is quite a responsibility. Are you sure you're up to it?"

"Oh yes sir."

I think my father intimidated him a bit, though I found that odd seeing that his own father was the Inspector.

"Alright then. But you must come directly home. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir. I'll bring her straight home."

William turned to Julia and I could see his big smile from the angle I was looking. Julia smiled sweetly and repeated, "Come straight home, Susie."

"Yes, Julia."

William and Julia did wait up for me, but then I got home just a few minutes after them. John walked me to the door and kissed me good night. I was walking on air. William opened the door and bade John a good evening.

I'm sure I had a stupid smile on my face as William asked, "Susannah, did you have a good time?"

"Oh Daddy. It was wonderful. Thank you for taking me." I hugged him and then Julia. I felt like I floated upstairs to dream about my fairy tale evening.


	6. Chapter 6 School

Susannah Remembers

Chapter 6 School

There had been a great fire, arson it was, at the barn where William kept Peg. When he went back the next day to inspect it for clues, William found a single tiny kitten in the ruins. Apparently the momma barn cat had rescued all but this one. Now William had never seemed sentimental toward animals until he acquired Peg, his horse. The fire and the loss of several horses in it had affected him deeply. So when he found the kitten he picked it up, put it in his coat and took it with him. When he came home that evening I remember how tired he looked. But he smiled and said he had a present for me. He reached into his coat and pulled out the tiny kitten. I was delighted at the little black and white ball of fluff.

"What are you going to call her?" he asked.

"Let's name her Dinah, after the cat in Alice in Wonderland?" That was one of my favorite books that William and I read together.

"Very good," he answered.

It was Julia who helped me care for the kitten. She knew what to feed her and how to provide a waste receptacle for her natural urges. And she even did a bit of surgery so Dinah wouldn't have kittens of her own.

"Don't tell William what I've done here, Susie. He might not understand."

I was much older before I knew what she meant. William had his own ideas about procreation. Dinah slept with me every night, but sometimes she honored other members of the family with her presence. Often William would be so tired he would fall asleep in his easy chair in the parlor. Dinah would curl up on his chest purring as loud as she could while he slept peacefully. He would wake up with Dinah breathing in his face. But it never seemed to upset him. He'd just pet her once or twice, then gently put her on the floor. I had Dinah for almost twenty years. Needless to say when she died I was devastated, even though by then I was an adult. I think William and Julia were sad too.

When I was 6 years old it was time for me to start school. I didn't want to go.

"I can read and do math already, why do I need to go to school?" I whined.

I didn't want to leave Penny all day. And I didn't care to meet other children. I preferred adult company. Also I really did know how to read, write and do math.

"You just do, little one. Everyone has to go to school," replied Julia.

I knew I'd get no where with her but William was a different matter.

I put on my best sad face and said,"Daddy, don't make me go."

William sighed and looked at Julia. He really wasn't very good at being the disciplinarian or putting his foot down. But Julia wouldn't come to his rescue this time and waited for him to answer me.

"Susannah, we all have to go to school for a while. I went to school and Julia went to several schools so she could be a doctor. You'll have fun, make new friends, learn new things."

"But I can learn from you and Julia and Penny".

All he could think of was a compromise. "Try it for..." and he thought for a moment, "a week, for me. Okay?"

"Alright," I said reluctantly. "One week." Then I left for my room, but I could hear Julia admonish William.

"A week! Great, William! Then what are we going to do when she won't go back after a week?"

"You could have jumped in there," he argued back. "I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it," he said sadly.

So that fall I had to start school. The morning of the first day William walked me to school himself. We went inside where he introduced me and himself to my teacher, Mrs. Craig. She smiled at me and showed me to my desk.

I was on the verge of tears and I think William was too. "Penny will come get you when school is out and you can tell us all about your day at dinner," he said as he leaned over and kissed my cheek. A tear rolled down my face and he wiped it away with his thumb. "It'll be alright, Sweetie. I promise." Then he left. Until that day I don't think there was ever a time I wasn't with either Julia, William, or Penny.

That may have been the longest day of my life. Or so it seemed to a six year old. As I left the school building for the day I ran as fast as I could into Penny's arms, sobbing. "Was it so bad,Honey?" she asked.

"I missed you so much," I cried. We walked home hand in hand where upon I picked up Dinah and headed straight to my room.

Julia almost always got home before William and that was true that day. Penny met her at the door, telling her that I had gone straight to my room. Julia decided to wait until William came home to talk to me. But William came home after midnight and he was exhausted. However, Julia insisted he at least talk to her about me even if it was too late to talk to me. I do remember William coming into my room to kiss me goodnight. He had promised to always do that. I don't know what they said to each other, but Penny took me to school on day two. I still hated it. I didn't want to play with the other children. I just wanted to go home. Only three more days. William said I only had to give it a week.

William made a Herculean attempt to get home early that night. We all sat at he dinner table, including Penny. "Susannah, what happened in school today?" William asked.

I looked down at my plate and said, "Nothing."

"Oh, you must have done something," he answered.

"Okay. We did the ABCs, counted, and that's all. It was all very boring because I already know that stuff. And no one can speak French or Latin either."

"Oh, I see." William looked concerned at Julia.

After dinner I did what I did best. I eavesdropped on my parents conversation.

"I guess we should have thought of the fact that Susannah knows too much to be in first year at school. No wonder she's bored."

"What can we do, William? "

"Maybe we can get her in a higher grade."

"But she'll be so much younger than the other children."

"Let's see about getting her in Bobby Brackenreid's class. He can look after her there."

Now to me the idea of going to school began to sound better and better. If I could be with one of the Brackenreid boys then I would be alright.

And that's what happened. I became the youngest student in the fourth year class. But Bobby saw that I was okay. He wouldn't let the bigger kids pick on me and he made me part of his crowd. And William and Julia let out a collected sigh of relief.

Of course from then on I was always four years ahead in school. So I would have been only 14 when I started at the University of Toronto. But Julia and William suggested that I wait a year or two to begin. And I did.

Even with getting to skip grades my education was still far and above my fellow classmates. From Julia and William I learned to read Latin. William taught me to speak French. I could play chess by the time I was five. And if William was very very tired I could beat him. I was always learning something from one of my parents; anatomy or physics or psychology or geometry or biology, even paleontology. They were probably the smartest people I was ever to know. Well, I did know James Pendrick too.

I may have gone to school with Bobby, who was like a brother to me, but it was always John that I loved. Bobby knew this and was okay. Sometimes he and I would study together, my house one time then his the next. And we were always invited to dinner at each others homes. Dinner at the Brackenreids was fun. Thomas always had a funny story or two, sometimes about William. And John was there. It was he and Bobby who would see me home.

Once as we walked home John said, "Susie, you are so much like your father. You even look just like him, dark hair, brown eyes, long lashes, dimples."

"You sure have been looking at William a lot," I laughed. "You do remember that I'm adopted, don't you?"

"Of course. I'm just saying, well, I've been looking at you a lot too." Then he blushed. That was so sweet I thought. I did look like William however. People often commented on it, not knowing the circumstance of my birth. It always made me feel good to hear it.

I finally began university at sixteen and completed my undergraduate studies in three years. Then I entered the medical school at the University of Toronto. When I graduated might have been the proudest moment for Julia and William. They both sat in the audience, tears streaming down their faces. John was there too. By now he had joined the Constabulary. That night we got engaged. It breaks my heart that William won't be here to give me away. He really liked John and John liked him.


	7. Chapter 7 Birthday

Susannah Remembers

Chapter 7 Birthday

**To my friend Hardstar. Thanks for sticking with me. This has been the most difficult story for me to write, because it's in first person and also I too found it very sad. But take heart. In my future stories William will be quite alive.**

For two people who were so in love, there were a lot of things that Julia and William disagreed on. Probably the most polar of their ideas were about religion. William grew up Roman Catholic and was taught as a child by Jesuit priests. Julia, on the other hand rarely went to any church and if pressed would claim to be an atheist or at least an agnostic. They each went their separate ways until I arrived. William anticipated an argument from Julia, but she was quite content to let him take me to church every Sunday. Of course at home she made no secret of her beliefs or lack of. I was expected to one day choose for myself how "religious" I wanted to be. I liked going to church with my father. The rituals, the pomp, even the smells fascinated me. And on Sunday mornings I had him all to myself. But I can't say I was not influenced by Julia. So now as an adult I still go to church, but my beliefs are much less strict than William's. I have chosen to be married in the church that William and I attended. John is okay with this and so is Julia.

My parents both made a descent living and we lived well. Julia of course had family money as well. But I too have my own money. My birth parents left me everything, which was quite a lot. Julia and William never touched a penny of it, having put it all in a trust fund for me upon reaching my twenty first birthday. I used part of it to pay for medical school.

Today Julia and I visited the cemetery. William is buried in the churchyard of our little church. There is a lovely tree nearby and a bench, so it is a very peaceful place to sit and think. I find it almost too painful to come here very often but today is his birthday. He would have been 57, not so old. He never liked for us to make a fuss on his birthday, July 2, which falls one day after Dominion Day. So we would celebrate both events together, taking some of the attention away from him, which he preferred.

But William and Julia went all out for my birthday. We either had a party or when I was older, we would go out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. And they always put a lot of thought into the presents they got me. And William would select a special gift that was just from him. One of my favorite presents (and I still have it) was the rocking horse he gave me on my fifth birthday, which was the first one I celebrated with Julia and William. He had it specially made by a wood sculptor. I expect he paid a pretty penny for it too. We had a small party at home with the Murdoch family's usual friends and family-George and Emily who were still in their courting phase, Margaret and Thomas and the boys, James and Aunt Ruby (also courting), Penny and her soon to be fiancé Clarence. Even as a child I was always comfortable in the company of adults, but it was nice too to have Bobby and John Backenreid there as well. We had a lovely dinner and then a huge cake with candles. Then I got to open my presents. William had left for a few minutes and when he came back he took my hand and led me to the parlor. There in front of the fireplace was Peg. Not really. But William had the artist paint the wooden horse the color of our Peg, a grey roan. She was mounted on a beautiful wooden bow rocker. The small saddle was real leather, as was the bridle. Stirrups hung low. And the tail and mane were real horse hair. I know my mouth dropped open upon seeing it.

Then I said, "Its my pony!"

William replied, "This will have to do when I can't take you to ride the real thing."

"Oh, William. I love her!" He then lifted me onto her for she was quite tall to a five year old.

Julia asked, "William, when did you have this done?"

"I've had it for a while now."

"It's absolutely beautiful."

That horse was often my best friend when I was sad or lonely. She was much more than a toy. She was and is a piece of art.

William looked so pleased the rest of the evening. I know he liked giving me the horse as much I liked getting it.

That was the beginning of the tradition of special gifts just from him. Julia never seemed to mind. She loved how close William and I were. She felt it was good for him, since he had a history of difficulty expressing his emotions. And I was close to Julia in a different way, but I always remembered that it was William who rescued me from the kidnappers. He was my hero.

My last birthday that we spent together was just months before William died. He was as mysterious as ever about the gift he had gotten me. We were going out to a wonderful new French restaurant. John was coming too, as were the usual crowd-Uncle George, Emily, Margaret and Thomas. James and Aunt Ruby were away as was Bobby, who was at school. Penny and Clarence had moved to New Foundland. William and I had fun conversing with the maitre d' and the waiter in French. And we helped the others order. After dinner it was time for presents. I opened William's last. It was in a small jewelry box. My heart quickened. It was beautiful, beyond beautiful; heartfelt. There was a long gold rope chain and attached to the chain was a gold disk. On one side was a high relief of the Rod of Asclepius, a snake entwined around a staff, the symbol of medicine. There was an amethyst at one end of the staff, for Julia's birthday in February and a diamond at the other end for mine. On the reverse were the Scales of Justice, with one scale holding a sapphire for John's birthday in September and the other holding a ruby, for William's birthday. I couldn't help myself, I began to cry. At first William thought I was disappointed, but then he realized how touched I was. I got up and came to him at the table, hugging him and kissing his cheek. "Put it on me." And he fastened it around my neck where it has been ever since. I shall never take it off.

So now I think I'll stop my written memories for a while. Perhaps I'll be more organized one day and write a biography of my extraordinary father. But in just a few hours I will marry John Brackenreid. And I hope our children will love us as much as I love Julia and my Daddy, William Henry Murdoch.


End file.
